Sunday, April 21, 2013

Manners (Really, How Chivalrous do You Want Your Man to be?)

Devon Sawa (do you remember him? 90's Canadian heartthrob who starred in such movies as Now and Then, Little Giants, and of course Wild America? He's grown up SO GOOD and is now in the CW's Nikita) tweeted something the other day that made me think.  He said "I always open doors for ladies but not car doors. I feel it's crossed the line into "suck-hole" territory. Am I wrong?"
Now, I love it when men hold the door open for me.  Really, I do.  Sometimes it's a bit awkward, because I don't know if they're holding the door for me, or just opening it really wide for themselves (don't judge, it has happened before).  I also really like it when men let the women go first down an aisle.  But I really really dislike when they open car doors for me.  Unless I am taking an abnormally long time getting out of the car, or I am injured or something, I can open the car door myself.  It takes too long for him to make it all the way around the car to open my door, and I'm not a very patient person.

But that brings to mind other things that have passed on which were considered "mannerly", "gentlemanly", or downright "chivalrous".  Like standing when a woman enters or leaves the room.  It's really all right fellas, you can stay seated.  Or allowing a woman to greet you first on the street.  If you know me, greet me.  I don't always pay attention to those around me when walking.  There is one I do like though.  According to, "remember also that really well bred women will not thank you for making them conspicuous by over officiousness in their defense, unless, indeed, there be any serious or glaring violation of decorum. In small matters, ladies are both able and willing to take care of themselves, and would prefer being allowed to overwhelm the unlucky offender in their own way."  Damn right! Unless someone is overly insulting, I can handle it thanks :-)

What do you think is good manners?  How mannerly do you wish the men in your life were, or are they already gentlemen?


  1. Anonymous4/23/2013

    I've learned to accept that guys might open doors for me, but I never expect it.

    Car doors? Way too weird.

    As for manners, please and thank you!

    My husband has decent table manners, but sometimes doesn't remember to say Bless you or thank you when I do something.

    And I'm with you on the greeting. I don't always pay attention to who is right in front of me (I've seen another detail or something that interested me first. Or lost in thought.)so please say hello to me if you want.

  2. Car doors are nice if you're walking towards the car and your side is first. So I guess getting in the car, but not getting out of the car. I'd agree, it gets a little boring waiting for them to go all the way around... unless they Dukes of Hazard it everytime. Then it might be worth the wait to watch :D

    Regular doors are the best, I agree. But then when they let it go before you're actually out of the door suuuuucks.

    I pose another question. What about flowers?