Monday, February 25, 2013

Sadness (For Others)

For the most part, I'm a pretty easy going kid.  Sure I've got a couple of hot button topics (the Red Sox, Josh Groban, my religion), but usually I can take other people's opinions with a grain of understanding.  Do not judge, lest you be judged, right?  I wasn't always this easy going person though.  There was a time in the not so distant past where I would not only judge if you had a different opinion than mine, I would argue and try to convince you of the rightness of my point.  This was never about important matters like politics, or environmental issues. I don't know nearly enough for that kind of conversation.  Oh no, this girl liked to argue the point of entertainment, movies, music, books and the like.  I'm nothing if not consistent.  However, in the past couple of years, I've learned to accept others' opinions, and now instead of a deep anger or flash of dislike about certain people, I just feel a sadness for those who don't feel as I do.  Let me give you an example. 

I went to brunch yesterday with my friend who just moved to town and his fiancee.  She told me about their night, how she had fallen asleep on the floor, because they (my friend and his dad) were watching (and I quote) "a boring movie".  My friend looked at me and said "We were watching Iron Man."  In my head, I was screaming "HOW IS IRON MAN A BORING MOVIE?! IT'S ESSENTIALLY A MOVIE ABOUT ROBERT DOWNEY JR. BEING ROBERT DOWNEY JR!!" but my mouth said "You think Iron Man is a boring movie?  That is so sad for you!"  See look at that.  Personal growth.  I was able to realize that by deciding that something (which is so obviously awesome) is "boring", she was shutting herself off from the greatness that she could have experienced, and that is sad!  Just like it's sad when people don't enjoy the same sort of humor I do, or I guess in the other direction, it could be sad for others that I don't like stupid things.  I'll tell you what, it saves more friendships than trying to convince people that no, Elizabethtown is really an amazing movie, and I don't care if it makes you depressed :-).

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Friend Types

I'm not a very engaging person.  Which if you know me may sound ridiculous, but it's true.  I am perfectly fine around people I know, and if I'm directly involved in the conversation, I am engaged and engaging.  But put me in a room with different groups to which I don't really belong or know anybody, and I usually end up sitting quietly, listening to the many different conversations going around.  I'm not one to know exactly what to say to people when I just meet them to get them talking.  I have a few basic questions, but if there's not a spark in the conversation, we usually end up again in silence.  And it's not always awkward silence, but sometimes it's one of those silences that are a little too long.  This is why I am so blessed to have friends who understand my awkward silences and my tendency to be shy around people I don't know.

The Lifers:  I have several friends who have been around for so long, we've now spent more time as friends than we ever have apart.  These are the ones that even when we haven't seen each other in months and months, the moment we're together it's like we never were apart.  We have secret snacks and longtime jokes and nicknames, we have dreams that we've shared and we tell each other everything, even the bad stuff.  I get to spend the weekend with one of these amazing women, and I cannot wait!!!!

The Party People:  this is going to sound horrible, but I do have friends that I hang out with because they know how to have a good time.  I know when I hang out with them, there's going to be a lot of laughter, a lot of alcohol and probably some not so smart decisions made.  Like taking shots directly from a bottle.  Yeah.  I don't hang out with them all the time, but every time I do, it's memorable! :-)

The Dailies:  there are friends I have who I talk to on a daily basis.  They're the ones who know how I feel at any given moment, mainly because I tell them, and vice versa, and when I don't talk to them, I feel like something is missing in some way.

The Opposites: some of the previously mentioned friends fall into this category as well.  These are the friends I have who through some kismet of fate have become super important to me, even though we may have little to nothing in common.  I sometimes like these people the best because they challenge me to look past what I know and what I like to other possibilities and ideas, which encourages me to keep open and aware.

The Boys:  yes, there is in every single (or not single) woman's life a group of men who can be qualified as her boy friends.  These are the men (or boys in some cases) who are there for a masculine point of view, whether it's on an idea, or an issue, or sports, or what dress looks best on you.  And yeah, most boys suck at the dress one, but it's nice to get a little input from them now and then. They're also fun to flirt with and boss around :-).  I have less of these than I'd like, especially in my current area, but I really like the ones I do have!

The Obligatories: I have a few of these in my life, the friends I have who have to love me, because I am related to them.  But I am also so very very very lucky that the obligatories I have, whether they are siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, or parents, are some of the most amazing people a woman could ever be surrounded by.  They are the rock I stand on, and some of my absolute best friends.  They all have different paths in life, and each of them march down their paths to a unique beat, with a hauntingly harmony combining us all together.

These are my friends, and while most of them don't live anywhere near me, I am eternally grateful for the love they shower me with even from miles and miles away!!