Wednesday, January 30, 2013

If I could teach the world to sing

Do you ever hear songs that instantly transport you back in time?  Or remind you immediately of a single person so much that it becomes "their" song?  I know we all have things like that.  When I hear 'California' by Phantom Planet, I'm transported to college, sitting in my friend's dorm room watching endless hours of The OC.  When I hear 'Amarillo by Morning' by George Strait, I'm a kid again, playing with my sisters.  When I hear 'Macarena', I'm ten, dancing to it in my best friend's bedroom.  And when I hear our ridiculous song, I'm sent back to freshman year, sitting in the hallway of my dorm, talking to you on the phone about everything under the sun, including what a strangely awesome song 'Come On Eileen' is.  Do you think it's strange that I, being a freshman in college, a woman of the world, should have had such a relationship with such a youngun as yourself?  Do you think it's strange that our relationship has lasted through the years?  There are songs I can't listen to now, you know.  Songs that have nothing to do with you, and yet remind me of you, and our in and out relationship.  And the way it ended.  However, I have gotten better.  Today when I heard our song, I laughed.  I didn't cry.  And that within itself is a big step.  It's the first time I've heard it since right after.  That shows progress, don't you think?  It was a complete surprise, and you haven't been on my mind for a while.  All of a sudden, I was sitting in the laundry room talking to you about Queens and your childhood.  I know so much, and yet so little.  You talked so much, and said so little.  You're like the Doctor in that way, you know.  You probably don't.  You didn't know how much I love that show.  There are a lot of things you didn't know.  Like how after that one time, I was so mad at you, and couldn't show it because your friends were there.  Or after that one huge fight we had, I cried myself to sleep over your idiocy.  Or after you kissed me at your birthday party, I was a complete mixed up fool.  And how I had finally decided to stop our cycle.  But I guess you did it for us, didn't you.  That's one good thing to come out of this I guess.  Though truthfully, I'd be all right with continuing the cycle, because it would mean you were here and not there.  This is the most I've written to you in a while.  I feel weird, and kind of bad, because I feel like I always want to talk to you, or talk about you, or something.  Do you think people are tired of it?  I feel like I'd be a little tired of it.  But I try not to bring it up too much.  I don't want to annoy people.  You were annoying, did you know that?  You drove me nuts sometimes.  But I always loved you.  And I always will, my Toto.

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